FEATURED IMAGE COURTESY OF THE NORTH PORT POLICE DEPARTMENT
The notebook pages that Brian Laundrie wrote after killing his fiancé Gabby Petito, and then himself, have finally been revealed.
Recovered from a Florida swamp by the FBI, the note includes a confession, along with a rambling explanation of what he claims happened leading up to Gabby’s death.
“I ended her life,” the notebook said. “I thought it was merciful, that it is what she wanted, but I see now all the mistakes I made. I panicked. I was in shock.”
Laundrie claims that he only decided to kill Petito after she fell into a cold creek at night in Wyoming and began to suffer from hypothermia.
“From the moment I decided, took away her pain, I knew I couldn’t go on without her,” Laundrie wrote.
“Rushing back to our car trying to cross the streams of [illegible] before it got too dark to see, too cold,” he scrawled in the pages, which can be read in full here. “I hear a splash and a scream. I could barely see. I couldn’t find her for a moment, shouted her name. I found her breathing heavily, gasping [illegible.] She was freezing cold. [Illegible] the blazing hot national parks in Utah.”
He continued: “The temperature had dropped to freezing and she was soaking wet. I carried her as far as I could from the stream toward the car, stumbling, exhausted in shock, when my [illegible] and knew I couldn’t safely carry her. I started a fire and spooned her as close to the heat. She was so thin, had already been freezing too long. I couldn’t at the time realize that I should’ve started a fire first but I wanted her out of the cold back to the car. From where I started the fire I had no idea how far the car might be, only knew it was across the creek.”
“When I pulled Gabby out of the water, she couldn’t tell me what hurt. She had a small [bump] on her forehead that [eventually] got larger. Her feet hurt, her [wrist] hurt but she was freezing, shaking violently. While carrying her she continually made sounds of pain. Laying next to her she said little, [lapsing] between violent shakes, gasping in pain, begging for an end to her pain. She would fall asleep and I would shake her awake, fearing she shouldn’t close her eyes if she had a concussion.”
“She would wake in pain, start her whole painful cycle again [illegible] furious that I was the one waking her. She wouldn’t let me try to cross the creek, thought like me that the fire would go out in her sleep and she’d freeze. I don’t know the extend of Gabby’s injuries, only that she was in extreme pain. I ended her life, I thought it was merciful, that it is what she wanted but I see now all the mistakes I made. I panicked, I was in shock. But from the moment I decided, took away her pain…”
Laundrie then addressed his mysterious trip home to Florida after Petito’s death and before his suicide.
“I rushed home to spend any time I had left with my family. I wanted to drive north and let James or TJ kill me but I wouldn’t want them to spend time in jail over my mistake, even though I’m sure they would have liked to. I am ending my life not because of a fear of punishment but rather because I can’t stand to live another day without her. I’ve lost our whole future together, every moment we could have [shared.] I’m sorry for everyone’s loss. Please do not make life harder for my family, they lost a son and a daughter. The most wonderful girl in the world. Gabby I’m sorry.”
“I have killed myself by this creek in the hopes that animals may tear me apart. That it may make some of her family happy.”
He ended the note with a request for whoever finds it.
“Please pick up all of my things. Gabby hated people who litter.”