Who do you hang out with? And what happens to you as a result? If you believe that the people you bring into your life impact you, consider these three kinds of people to bring into your inner circle:
Do you have a friend you can count on to tell you the truth – no matter what? Someone honest to the core, who cares enough about you to give it to you straight? Someone who says, “I love you, but if you shoot off your mouth, you’ll get fired. Find a new job first,” or “You’re better than that.” If you don’t have a truth-teller in your inner circle, find one.
If you’re lucky, you have a transformer in your inner circle. She changes your life and your future. You call her and say, “I took a stupid risk and here’s what happened,” and she reframes it right before your eyes, showing you how what happened was actually great. So when you call her to tell her about the mistake you made, she responds with, “I’m so proud of you for taking that risk. You’ve got guts and courage, and look how much you learned! Next time you’ll knock it out of the park.” Suddenly your heart lifts.
If you want to step outside of the box and grow your comfort zone, you need an inspirer in your corner. Inspirers gently and occasionally fiercely push you to learn, grow and take risks. Through their own commitment to learning and growing, they awaken in you the spark you need to achieve new heights.
Here are the three types of people never to bring in:
The character assassin
Do you know someone who throws you and others under the bus when they achieve their own ends? Someone who walks on your or others’ backs on their way to the top? Don’t become the person who said, “I saw her do it to others, but didn’t think she’d do it to me.”
Reputation assassins work behind your back, making themselves feel better by making others feel small. One thing you can count on with an assassin is that you can’t count on them. When you meet one, it’s just a matter of time before they body slam you – unless you wisely stay away.
Do you work with or around a hypercritical person who’s quick to tell you what’s wrong with you? One who, like a vampire, sucks the good mood out of your day? Don’t underestimate a sharp-tongued critic’s impact. If you view their comments as simply annoying bug bites, remember that you can contract malaria from a mosquito. So, if you run across a spirit-destroyer, turn the other way before they twist a knife into your self-esteem.
Divas believe that everything that happens needs to be all about them. In fact, if something happens that moves you to center stage, the diva creates sufficient distraction so that they regain the spotlight. The only thing you can count on with divas is that you can’t (count on them). Why clutter your inner circle with divas?