Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is more of an essential factor for success than one’s IQ. Research confirms that EQ is the critical factor that distinguishes the highest performers. It affects our choice of behavior, helps us deal with difficult people, and allows us to form decisions that lead to successful outcomes. EQ is made up of four core skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
Here are some habits of women with high EQ that you can practice to raise yours:
They take full responsibility for the way they feel
These women won’t blame other people or the circumstances. They see how emotions arise from needs and how the behaviors of others are merely triggers. We all have choices we can make to get on track to meet our essential needs, and you can learn to master your happiness.
They have a persistently positive outlook
Emotionally intelligent women don’t worry about what they can’t control. They focus their energy on directing what is in their power: their attention and their effort. A positive attitude helps improve both physical and mental health, and those who have a sunny outlook tend to be higher performers than those who are pessimistic.
They can be very specific in naming their emotions
While all people experience feelings, very few can accurately identify them as they occur. Unlabeled sentiments such as “bad” and “hurt” are often misinterpreted. Vagueness leads to faulty assumptions, wrong decisions and counterproductive actions. Women with high EQ can say, “I’m angry, frustrated, anxious, or afraid.” By naming the emotion, you can tame your reactivity, and you are better able to tap into the source of your feelings and figure out what to do.
They can set boundaries and be assertive
Those with high EQ establish limits that are in their best interest. When they see a need to stand for those boundaries, they balance good manners, empathy and kindness with assertiveness. They can better handle conflict and negotiations without passive or aggressive behavior. They can remain calm and centered, and if they feel a painful emotion, they can use their powers of grace to neutralize toxic people without creating enemies while also standing for their values and well-being.
They are continually learning and growing
Women with high EQ can distinguish when their mindset is judgmental (of self or others), and when their mindset is ready to learn. High EQ folks can choose how to frame their thoughts. They focus on building both internal and external self-awareness, seeking honest feedback from loving critics, and asking what instead of why so they can learn to see themselves more clearly. By deciding to switch from a judgmental mindset to a curious one, you can access your empathy – one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. Compassion and curiosity are sources of caring about others and learning more about yourself as well.
They choose how to spend their energy
When things don’t work out as expected, high EQ women are skilled at moving on from conflicts and leaving the past behind. They ask themselves questions to open up their thinking and consider alternatives. Rather than holding on to painful feelings, they surface the need that was triggered and the message their emotions are giving them. They acknowledge what they can learn from the incident and how to prevent it from happening again.
They won’t let anyone bring them down
When emotionally intelligent women feel good about something they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from them. They don’t waste their energy by comparing themselves to others. They won’t take others’ snarky comments personally. While its impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, no matter what they are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. You can always treat others’ opinions with some skepticism.