Contrary to your previous dating disasters, good guys do still exist. No, really. They simply require a little extra effort to find. There are five main reasons you’re struggling to meet your perfect guy, but each one just makes him worth the effort.
He’s in hiding
One of the hardest things about finding a good guy is figuring out where to look. They’re not trolling hook-up apps like Tinder or Bumble, and you’ll rarely find them in a crowded club hitting on girls. Frustrating as it might be, this difficulty is good. His absence at the typical dating watering holes signals that he’s looking for more than an attractive first impression; he wants something with depth. That’s the foundation of any lasting relationship.
You’re idealizing “the friend zone”
If you can’t seem to find one, it can be easy to try out a friend-zoned male as a potential boyfriend. But, those in the friend zone earned their place because you’ve never felt anything more than platonic feelings for them. Just because he’s a nice boy doesn’t mean he’s the Good Guy for you. Keep him where he belongs and search elsewhere.
He doesn’t exist yet
Looking around at your peers, it can feel like the Good Guy gene skipped a generation. It seems like every guy you meet couldn’t be further from the great boyfriends your older sisters, cousins or friends seem to find. But the gene didn’t skip, it just hasn’t surfaced yet. As we all know, girls mature faster than boys. Give them some time to develop into the Good Guys you need – it’ll be worth the wait when he gets his jerk stage out of the way before you meet.
You’re single, he’s not
There’s nothing more frustrating than meeting a Good Guy, thinking he might be the one, and then finding out he has a girlfriend. Unfortunately, Good Guys are limited in supply and high in demand. While it’s irritating for present you, future you will be happy about the ex-girlfriends. They mean that he’s already had mature, serious relationships and gotten over any initial fears of commitment. Trust me, it’s worth the momentary loss.
You’re in your own way
When you finally meet the Good Guy for you, sometimes you can get turned off by the assumption that he’s boring. He calls exactly when he says he will, he always keeps dates and he never plays mind games. You might miss the drama that came with the immature relationships of your past. But this isn’t “boring,” it’s reliable. Good Guys are good because they’re dependable men who aren’t afraid to treat you as you deserve. This isn’t a character flaw, it’s the trait that makes him worth all the difficulties you went through to find him. Don’t penalize him for being exactly what you were looking for.
The points in this article are the opinion of the writer.