Many of us in the dating scene can mask our discouragement in thinking, “it will never happen to me, or I’m just (fill in the blank, whatever “old story” you are telling yourself). Yes, online and face to face dating can be challenging, but is there something going on that’s deeper, are you feeling unworthy of finding true love? Here are some ways to declutter your negative mind-talk.
1. Stay positive.
When a thought pops up in mind like, “I’ve been married and divorced, and good guys are hard to come by, it probably won’t happen again,” or “I keep attracting unavailable men and can’t seem to change that,” question those ideas by asking yourself, “Is that really true?” There may be an element of truth to it, but the severity of those statements isn’t true.
2. Indulge in the fantasy.
Yes, relationship experts will tell you to make a list of the qualities you want in a mate, so do it. Then, throughout the day, allow yourself to think of what it would be like if a special person were sharing these activities with you. If negative mind-chatter rises, just watch it like an objective observer. Don’t let it distract you.
3. Keep your heart open.
Of course, you are whole and complete on your own, but you’re looking for a like-minded individual. Who knows where the two of you will meet? It could be on a bus, or taking your dog for a walk, don’t close yourself off to chance occurrences.