Is now the right time in my life to have a deep, meaningful long term relationship?
This is the most important question. Many women are putting pressure on themselves to find a relationship, when in fact, it may not be the right time. It is important to look at your life and ask, “Do I have the time?” “Do I have an extra half hour every day to focus on finding love, finding dates, and do I have several other hours a week to actually go on those dates?” “If I find the right partner, do I have the time to nurture and grow the relationship?”
I’ve had women say to me, “When I find the relationship, then I’ll make the time.” It doesn’t work like that. If you say that your number one priority is to have great love in your life, to need to reorganize and be creative about it. If you know that you need to be at a desk from 9-7 every day, you are able to reserve time for grocery shopping and fitness. You have to make the time for a relationship as well.
What are the heart traits and qualities that your soul is calling for the most?
Having clarity about the person you want to be in a relationship with is key. You have to ask yourself, “What kind of person do I want to be with?” “What are my three must-have qualities and my three deal breakers?” This differs from a grocery list. You’re not shopping for a person; you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with.
For myself, I needed someone who was generous. Not with their wallet, but with their love, affection, attention, appreciation, and time. Knowing these qualities ahead of time makes the sorting process that much easier as you are meeting people.
What kind of relationship do you want to have?
Some people are certain that they want to get married and have children. Other people proclaim they don’t ever want to get married again, and just want a committed, monogamous relationship while living together. This can also be a choice while living apart, or something else. As you are going through the dating/sorting process, you can find somebody who wants the same thing you want. If what you want is marriage and children, you don’t want to be with a divorced man who doesn’t wish to take part in sacred vows and sign legal documents again. This can’t be a spontaneous decision.
How much love do I currently have in my life?
In particular, single women have these negative, limiting thoughts – “I’m all alone.” “I’m unlucky in love.” “I’m too old.” “All the good ones are taken.”
The truth is, if you sit down with pen and paper, and create a long list of the love you already have in your life – parents, grandparents, children, siblings, friends, coworkers, pets – you’ll realize that you are worthy of receiving and loving in return.
Also, create a “Daily Gratitude Process” for yourself. Every day, look at this list, and fill yourself up with reality and the knowingness that you possess all this love in your life. When you have your heart focused on all the love you already have, it makes your heart and soul magnetic to attracting romantic love.
You need an action plan.
Go to meet-ups, get online, and be spontaneous. Have a good friend be your accountability partner. If you plan on creating a profile for a dating site/app, make sure you schedule 30 minutes a day to actually be checking these profiles and looking for love. One of the biggest mistakes women make is they go onto these online dating sites/apps and they sit and wait for someone to reach out to them.
The science is now revealing that the women who are most successful with online dating do not wait for men to contact them. It’s time to take romantic action into your own hands.
The points in this article are the opinions of the writer.