Covert narcissistic abuse isn’t always easy to pinpoint. A ‘covert narcissist’ is someone who craves admiration and importance as well as lacks empathy toward others but can act in a different way than an overt narcissist. Because of their need for control, they aim to do control you without you realizing it. Sometimes they do this withholding approval or subtle gaslighting statements. The secret to spotting covert narcissistic abuse in your relationship is not to examine what your partner is doing, but to look at your own feelings and behavior.
You’re feeling confused
This is one of the biggest warning signs that you’re dating a narcissist. You are never quite sure what the status of your relationship is or where they stand. They also blame and shame you whenever they get the opportunity leaving you to feel even more confused as to what you’ve done.
You’re walking on eggshells
You are afraid that anything you say or do is going to provoke your partner. Try your best to avoid taking everything personally and that it is not your fault. This may help ease some of the anxiety you feel around them.
You are always saying, “I’m sorry” to diffuse the situation.
Are you always apologizing to the point that you don’t even realize what for? You may even work up the nerve to question your partner and when they react angrily you apologize for raising the issue.
You feel exhausted and keep giving up.
You don’t feel like fighting for yourself and what you believe is right anymore. You might be in for a silent treatment if you don’t agree with your partner. It’s easier to just keep quiet to have some peace of mind.
You are hypervigilant and hypersensitive to everything.
You are always monitoring your partner and your environment. You are worried about glances, meanings behind what they said and “cryptic” text messages.