In the beginning of a relationship, it is always hard to differentiate between love and infatuation. Your new partner is constantly on your mind, but are you interested in them for who they are or you are just enamored with whom you think they could be? When your relationship is centered on love …
You notice where your partner has room for growth
Infatuation is based on idealizing a partner as a flawless version of themselves. Real love means you don’t put your partner on a pedestal. You recognize their faults and let them know where they could improve.
You don’t get jealous at the tip of a hat
If you have built your partner up so much that it becomes impossible to imagine your life without them, it makes sense that you’re overly protective. But with love comes a sense of security. You don’t feel an immense panic when your partner wants to talk to someone else or needs alone time.
You prioritize yourself when you make decisions
While it is important to keep your partner in mind when making big decisions, they shouldn’t be the only person you consider. A partner who loves you will support you in pursuing exciting opportunities. If you love them, you won’t feel guilty for putting yourself first every once in a while.
You don’t resent them
No one can live up to the unrealistic expectations that come with infatuation. In that kind of relationship, when your partner lets you down, you pretend it didn’t happen and eventually begin to resent them. In loving relationships you don’t bottle up your feelings to create a cycle of resentment.
You happily make time for other people in your life
If you are infatuated with your partner, any other part of your life feels like a distraction from the time you could be spending with them. Being in love with your partner isn’t the same thing as being obsessed with them. You aren’t consumed by the idea of being with your partner 24/7, and instead are excited about making plans with friends and family.
You don’t feel like you have to rush
When you meet someone who seems like a perfect mate, it is easy to get carried away envisioning the future—dating, getting married, having kids, retiring together, etc. You view them only as a vessel to achieving what you want in your life, and disregard how they might actually feel. A solid relationship doesn’t rely on rushing into the next step, but rather enjoying where you’re at in the current moment.