It’s difficult to imagine being positive when you’ve just had your heart broken, but there are more and less destructive ways to cope with that soul-wrenching hurt. Here are some productive, positive things you can do to cope until the storm passes.
It’s not you, it’s them
Sounds cliché, but it’s true. When someone leaves you or betrays you, it’s quite natural to think, “What did I do to make this happen?” Don’t blame yourself; it probably had less to do with you than you think. Everyone is fighting their own war—whether they’re dealing with past traumas or struggling with parts of themselves they wish they could change. When someone breaks your heart, you are the healthy one – heartbreak doesn’t happen to you unless you have a heart. They are the one with inner turmoil.
A chance to change
I’m not going to tell you that getting over heartbreak is all a state of mind. I don’t believe that either. Making substantial changes to how you live your life is hard. For example, I couldn’t quit smoking until I moved into a new apartment. All those old triggers were gone. It was time to try something new. It can be a perfect time to make a big change in your life. It’s an opportunity you didn’t plan for.
Change your environment
Now that you have more time on your hands, and your brain and your heart won’t leave you alone, distract yourself by tackling that painting project you’ve been thinking about for years. Use some of your savings and take a week-long vacation to somewhere new. Better yet—paint your rooms, move your furniture and immediately go on vacation to somewhere new. When you come back, you’ll be able to enjoy the newness of your living space.
Avoid social media and turn to pen and paper
This may not seem like a “positive way” to deal with heartbreak, but you will be avoiding one of the most “negative ways” you can deal with heartbreak. If everyone who went on a broken-heart-psychotic-rant on social media could take that rant back, most probably would. You could really damage the way other people see you if you’re not careful, and social media doesn’t disappear.
Instead of tuning into social media, write letters to yourself— unfiltered, ugly, angry and sad (the works). Then you can throw them away. The idea is called “expressive writing”, and it’s a great form of therapy that you can keep private.
Surround yourself with happy people
Make a new friend or turn to that friend who always seems to rise above the noise and have fun. Inject some happiness into your life, but don’t do it alone. You need human contact—the positive, happy kind.