Social media makes it seem like relationships are one long love-fest of family dinners, traveling and selfies in the sunset. As you find yourself battling angers, frustrations and jealousies, you may be wondering, “When did it all go so wrong?” The truth is that most couples are navigating the same relationship pitfalls you are, right in between the posting and tweeting.
So, what are a few you should avoid to ensure you will be sailing smoothly with your loved one and a stroller?
Stop pushing their buttons
Sometimes, you know what that will drive your partner nuts, and because you’re bored, angry or helpless, you decide to just go ahead and push that button. You got the reaction you wanted but now it has ruined his mood and yours, as well as the entire weekend. But beyond that, you just eroded the trust in your relationship a bit more.
Avoid abrupt exits
Leaving swiftly in the middle of an argument or a fight can further worsen the situation. Without care, the problems will remain unresolved. This can instill feelings of abandonment and resentment that may linger well after the argument.
Don’t take advantage
Everyone has their limits. Just because your partner does not actively stop you from doing something, nor complain about your behavior, does not mean you should be doing it excessively. Don’t take advantage of another’s understanding. Pay attention to your own behavior and the impact it has on your partner – this builds mutual respect and consideration in the relationship.
Don’t block their attempts to resolution
People fight and have confrontations. What may be more important is how they make up from the fight. The ability to settle the issue, forgive each other and move past it is a cornerstone in building a healthy dynamic. So, when you’re still stewing over that last thing he or she did to you, don’t deliberately miss the attempts being made to reconcile. Your partner is putting the relationship first when he makes an apologetic gesture (it can look like a hug, an attempt to make you laugh or to help around the house, etc.) It’s only fair that you do the same.
Stop tuning out
When you tune out your partner, you miss crucial information about how they are doing. You lose the opportunity to check in on their mood, their expectations and their frame of mind. You can’t offer support or express concern because you did not care to listen when they were sharing about their day or their dreams. The longer you disconnect, the more distance will start to frost the relationship – and that kind of frost is hard to thaw.