Things have been going well. The two of you get along better than you expected. You’ve had several successful dates. You guys cuddle while watching TV. But what now? Is this as good as it gets?
Here are a few reliable signs that it might be time to take your relationship to the next level.
They want you to be friends with their friends
When it begins it’s all about the two of you, but sooner or later you’ve got to come up for air. When you do, does your partner want you to get to know the friends that they’ve been ignoring for the last two months? If so, that’s a good sign. It means you weren’t just a short term thing. Meeting the friends means you’re being invited into the world they’ve spent their life building. I think you can afford a smile if they say, “hey, you should come meet the gang” – unless of course they’re in an actual gang.
They allow themselves to be vulnerable
Have you talked them into watching a movie they wouldn’t normally pick themselves? Do they ask for a tissue at the same time you reach for one? Hey! That suggests your partner is willing to let their guard down. You don’t do that in front of just anyone; it’s not human nature. If they lower their shields that could be a great sign that a new world of deeper commitment awaits. Go explore it!
They start fantasizing about long term goals with you
I knew things were about to get serious when I first dreamed with my wife about the house I’d like to live in someday. I wasn’t saying, hey let’s buy a house together, but I was suggesting that there is a future me that I want you to know about.
When you shine a light on hopes and dreams that extend beyond the measurable distance, you are really opening a door to those dreams and it may be an invitation to your other step inside.
They are on your mind when you’re at work or with friends
When I am here with you
You are all that I see
And when you are away
You’re where I want to be
That message you get while they are at their Mother’s birthday party, or when they’re with their friends having a night out, or from the holiday work party means you are on their mind when you are not together.
Children lack a certain mental ability – when mom and dad leave the room, a child isn’t sure if they still exist. As adults we know things still exist when we can’t see them, but do we care? When you get that text your partner is imagining you wherever either of you are. Isn’t that sweet? I think so.
You are not afraid to confide in them
One of the best and most reliable signs that things may be ready to go deeper is when things aren’t going well for your partner. Do they retreat? Get quiet? Or, do they come to you and say that they have a concern, worry, or hurt?
“Fairweather friends” is a term that refers to how easy a relationship can be when everything is going well. When things start falling apart, if your partner turns to you, relies on you, needs you…wow. The focus may be on healing a hurt, but in a very real way, they just showed how much they need you.
Look for those signs. If you don’t want to go deep, those might be your EJECT NOW warnings, but if you want to build a foundation for something greater, those signs could point you toward the long and winding road of love.