You shouldn’t feel as though you have to constantly please your significant other. In fact, you shouldn’t have to think about it at all. In a healthy relationship, it should happen automatically. That’s not to say that relationships don’t take work; it’s to say that you shouldn’t feel like you’re the only one putting in any effort. There also may be times where your desire to constantly people-please is problematic, so watch out for the following signs.
You give, but never get
Relationships aren’t a one way street. Both partners should have an equal share in every aspect of your life together (just make sure you establish some boundaries as well). If you feel as though you’re giving exponentially more than you’re getting, it could be a sign that you’re trying too hard.
You can’t say no to them
In this type of relationship, you might feel as though you’ll disappoint or anger your partner if you don’t agree with them. This is extremely toxic behavior. You should be able to communicate with your partner truthfully. If you don’t like what they’re doing, or if you don’t feel comfortable doing something they want you to do, speak up – hold on to your own set of values.
You go according to their schedule
Flexibility is important in a relationship. It’s when flexibility turns into opening your entire schedule to accommodate your partner that it becomes a problem. Remember that your time matters too.
You make excuses for their behavior
You may tend to let things slide – that’s because you’re afraid that if you bring up something they did that’s bothering you, they’ll get upset. Don’t just sweep what’s upsetting you under the rug just to make your partner happy. This is unhealthy – it impacts how you communicate with them. You shouldn’t rationalize things your partner does that you don’t like.
You aren’t 100% you
Sometimes, people can be afraid to show their true colors at first – and that’s understandable. However, in a healthy relationship, you should feel more and more comfortable around your partner as time progresses, which would make you feel secure enough in yourself to reveal your whole self. In an unhealthy relationship, you might feel as though you have to hold back a part of yourself so that you don’t scare your partner away. It’s important to feel like you can be yourself around someone, especially with your significant other.