Women tend to over apologize…why? Perhaps we are dealing with the “Imposter Syndrome,” trying to cover-up for some type of inadequacy we may be feeling. Also, we may be responding to messages from our past (a former boss, teacher, parent–people who picked on us so that they didn’t have to deal with themselves). Well, it’s time for us to stop “going for the bait.”
Here are times when it is appropriate to apologize and times when it is not.
Do Apologize: When you have said something you didn’t really mean out of the heat of anger.
Don’t Apologize: When someone is laying on the “guilt,” and making you feel like it was all your fault.
Do Apologize: When you were hurtful to someone and didn’t really know how devastating that would be for them.
Don’t Apologize: When you are going to a new and better position and you will not be able to take others with you.
Do Apologize: When you were frustrated, took most of the attention, and really didn’t care what other people were going through. (If you had felt better, you never would have done that).
Don’t Apologize: When people are jealous of you and are blaming you for something you never did.
Do Apologize: When you missed a special occasion because it slipped your mind–you’ve been under a lot of pressure at work, and felt terrible that you forgot.
Don’t Apologize: When people you don’t trust are giving you feedback. Tell them, you hear what they have said, but don’t let it affect you. (There is a reason you don’t trust them–go with what your intuition is telling you).