Scarlett Johansson has tried her hand at marriage three times in the last fifteen years. But her current marriage to SNL writer and co-anchor of the Weekend Update Colin Jost seems to be the one that Scarlett thinks will stand the test of time, and that’s thanks to what her previous marriages taught her.
Appearing on an episode of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Podcast last week, Scarlett opened up about what she’s learned about relationships and her thoughts on what each spouse deserves emotionally.
After reminding Paltrow that she was first married to Deadpool actor Ryan Reynolds for three years (2008-2011), she sincerely mentioned that “He’s a good guy”, to which Paltrow agreed.
In 2014, Scarlett married journalist Romain Dauriac, but split up just three years later after welcoming their daughter Rose, now 8 years old.
It wasn’t until 2020, after having known him for nearly fifteen years after meeting on the set of SNL, that Johansson tied the knot with Jost, and have since welcomed their son Cosmo in 2021.
“I would never have probably been ready for a relationship like the one that I have with Colin at different times in my life because I wasn’t comfortable setting my own boundaries,” she admitted on the podcast. “I didn’t know not only what I wanted but what I needed from somebody else.”
The Marriage Story actress explained that she was unsure of the kind of spouse she wanted – and more so needed – in her life until she started dating Jost.
“It’s hard to be in a relationship anyway,” she continued, “because you have to compromise all the time and whatever, and sometimes your lives separate, and they come back together and blah blah blah. But I never realized, ‘Oh, it’s really important for me; I need to be with a compassionate person.’ That’s a fundamental characteristic that has to be there.”
“I think that understanding what those fundamental things are that you need in a partner is a must for longevity,” she added. “Because all the rest of it’s hard, and there’s gonna be disagreements or ups and downs, or you’re working on different things at different times…But I think identifying those things was a game changer for me.”
After discussing the lessons she learned from her previous marriages, she went on to talk about how those lessons have reflected in her current marriage.
“It’s not, like, the sexiest thing to do, to examine those fundamental characteristics that are a necessity for you,” she said, “but I think that’s why it worked with Colin, and I at that time. I was finally able to step back and actually respect myself enough to know what those things were and be OK with it.”
“It was a life lesson,” she added, with Paltrow commending her advice for being “very wise”.