There’s nothing worse than falling into a pattern of going after people who are not good for us. It’s painful, frustrating, and unkind to us. But it’s also totally normal. Here are six reasons why we fall for the wrong guy.
Sure, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, but when we first meet someone, we immediately notice his looks. If he’s cute and charming to boot, it makes sense that we would be attracted to him even if he’s not a great guy underneath it all.
Maybe all of our friends are in relationships. Maybe we feel like we need to lean on someone else so we don’t have to deal with our own problems. Maybe we just feel really sad when we’re single. Whatever the reason, if we are insecure, we can be desperate and think that anyone would be good for us.
We don’t have a model for good relationships
If we never got to see what a healthy relationship looks like—in the form of our parents or a relative—we wouldn’t know how to form a solid relationship. We constantly self-sabotage and choose people who are wrong for us because we don’t have the knowledge of how to make it right.
He’s different and exciting
Opposites attract. But opposites don’t marry each other and live happily ever after. We’ve never met anyone like him before, and he opens our eyes to a new and exciting world. However, there are many situations that arise in a relationship where the most important thing is that we are both on the same page. People are not magnets, so the same rules do not apply.
His true colors are different than his outer shell
He wins us over with his humor or outgoing nature. He’s great at socializing and is so much fun in a group. But when it gets more serious and we are alone together, it turns out that he can be rude and insensitive.
Right from the start, we know he’s not our dream guy. But he lives so close to us, our family likes him and he has a good job. This is a case of dating for convenience over compatibility. It doesn’t work out in the end because no matter how much sense it makes logistically, the lasting feelings just aren’t there.