The Big Why
Are we 100% convinced that “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Who promoted this preposterous ideology anyway? It’s about time we had a little chat with them.
Classy, powerful women have traditionally been typecast as frigid, lonely, forever-single workaholics who have more difficulty holding onto men than Rose from The Titanic. This inaccurate “Ice Queen” trope, however, fails to underscore the actual reasons powerful women tend to have difficulty in relationships.
Ironically enough, the very same beautiful, unique, formidable qualities that attract men and set classy women apart are also the traits that tend to later frighten these potential partners in the long run.
For instance, the resiliency and independence that most goal-oriented, passionate women exhibit are incredibly attractive to their suitors. These traits signal a self-governance that says to men, “Although you are fun and I value your company, I do not need you.” This attitude is an extremely fertile catalyst for the classic “chase” because it puts you, at least in an emotional sense, just out of reach for him. You become a challenge that he wants to overcome, and his pursuit becomes an exciting game of cat-and-mouse.
However, once the mouse is “caught,” so to speak, a new challenge suddenly arises (for you) and he becomes threatened by your independence. Once he has you, it might be incredibly difficult for him to accept that you won’t compromise your “life agenda” for him. Although some men are flexible, supportive, and not threatened by your power (case in point: Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s husband Marty), many feel the need to leave as soon as they are challenged by it.
Your classiness and strength radiate, and might even encourage him to make some positive changes in his life from the get-go. However, he might at some point realize that he needs to step up his game to match your energy, and this again could potentially frighten him away.
You can win ‘em all
Incredible women deserve incredible partners. Despite the prevalence of men who react to your strength in the ways we have described, there are in fact men (like RBG’s husband!) who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, support you in all of your endeavors, and not be threatened by your power. You should never sacrifice your fundamental strengths, goals, nor attitude for anybody – even if this means being single for longer than you would like to. Maintain your values resolutely – the right man will respect and encourage that. So have your cake, eat it too, and win ‘em all!