I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s time to build up your confidence. Believing in yourself is great for knowing your true-self and it allows you to see your worth. It also causes others to believe in you, bringing you success and generally feeling happier! It also is important for a healthy relationship. Being insecure can push your partner away. Here’s how:
- It can make a partner feel suffocated.
When one person in a relationship has a more independent approach to life, it can cause a more dependent partner to feel enmeshed in a relationship that feels suffocating to both. Psychotherapist Avrum Weiss, Ph.D., says that men tend to admire independence and look down on dependency as a weakness. Men consider it a dangerous vulnerability.
- Insecurities to the extreme may hurt other relationships.
When you’re insecure, you can become “clingy”. You might feel emotionally hurt if your partner wants to spend time with their coworkers, friends, or family. By telling them they can’t do so, it can put a strain on the relationships. Most secure individuals value a bit of time to themselves. You may even end up damaging your own friendships if you feel you need to be with your partner 24/7 to keep them interested in you.
- It takes away from your character to reveal a jealous streak.
Secure individuals don’t find it attractive when partners show their jealousy. Professor of Psychology Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D., says, “We may activate jealousy to cope with the danger of being rejected. We may believe that our jealousy will keep us from being surprised, help us defend our rights, and force our partner to give up interests elsewhere.” He claims that unfortunately this way of thinking usually causes relationships to end.
- You can push a partner away with constant doubts.
Samantha Joel, Ph.D., says “You are far more aware of your own insecurities than anyone else is. In fact, research shows that it’s precisely when you’re feeling the most insecure that you’re most likely to underestimate how much the close people in your life care about you and how positively they feel about you.” That little nagging voice in your head that puts you down can cause you to be insecure over issues that might not exist. It can be draining for a partner to be doubted and spoken to passive-aggressively. This can ultimately lead them to walk away from the relationship.