Selfish people come in many forms, each with their own puzzling traits. But have no fear, there are some ways to detect and disarm them.
Mr/ Ms. Marvelous
Also known as the narcissist, this person expects you to marvel in their existence. The self-importance is oozing off of this person like a freshly sprayed bottle of Febreeze. In fact, narcissism down to its original form is a personality disorder. Don’t let this scare you away, though, because there are ways you can counter them. One instance of a narcissist’s selfishness is that they are capable of using you only for their own advantages and needs. To disarm them, you have to put yourself first, otherwise, you are giving them exactly what they want. Always keep in mind that with the narcissist there could always be an underlying motive.
These types of people know exactly how to get what they want and will tell us what we want to hear, regardless if they mean it or not. To decode the manipulator, pay attention to their actions. Were they showering you with praise, only to become cold and distant after they get their way? Do you notice this pattern every time they come around? If so, distance yourself from them. If they know less about you, they’ll have nothing to manipulate.
This person seems to think that everything they do is for the benefit of others, or that another person’s success is due to them–and they’ll have no problem voicing it. An example of a martyr is someone who thinks that things will fall apart without them. They want to be the reason for success, but if there is ever failure, they are quick to shy away from taking responsibility for it. Martyrs exhibit excessive self-sacrifice in order to come across as a good person or even a saint. Don’t give in to their needful pity or self-praise. Also realize that perfection doesn’t exist, and it is irrational for someone to always be as good or as saint-like as they would like you to think.
The Control Freak
Controlling people can cause frustration because they always want the upper hand. They try to exhibit control in anything they do. If something does not go in the direction they want it to, they will try their best to redirect the situation and have it flowing the way they please. Show them that you have control of your own life and that you are not their little puppet who will do as they please. Establishing your own self control will not only set you free from their stifling habits, but will also show them that their need for control is not always wanted or appreciated.