We all deal with difficult people and challenging situations that make us mad. I have noticed a few ways women who I admire deal with them, and offer these suggestions:
1. Feel it, don’t deny it. When we stuff down our feelings, anger included, we may feel depressed, so it is important to allow yourself to be angry. What are the sensations involved with this emotion—clenched jaw, tightness in the neck—notice your voice, does it get shrill?
2. Think through your next move. What is the best way to address the problem? Talk to the person directly after you cool down. Watch and wait. Observe their behavior and then calculate your approach. It’s probably not best to “react” in the heat of the moment.
3. After you’ve taken some action, it is best to let it all go. You may not trust the person and set some boundaries with them, but to hold on to anger can be deadly. It turns into resentment which can “eat away” at your energy and sanity. You don’t want to do it.
4. Pen it out. Sometimes, it is best to write down what happened and how you processed it. Also, there may be a lesson or two that was learned from the exchange – record that too.
