It’s the worst thing to feel discounted, knowing that someone doesn’t see your value. Sometimes, rather than feel the pain of what’s going on, we deny what is happening. How can you clearly tell if someone is not appreciating you? Heed these signs.
- They talk “at” you rather than “to’ you.
- They don’t include you in important decisions.
- You catch them gossiping about you—of course, they will deny it, but you know the truth.
- They don’t listen to what you say. They give you a minute, and then you get the signal that it’s time to move on to the next thing (they are always looking down at their watch).
- They keep interrupting you. What they have to say is, of course, more valuable than your take on the situation!
If you encounter this, time to change your approach. Because whatever you are doing isn’t really working, right? A coach or therapist can be useful and you can role-play different ways of handling their behavior. But most importantly, do a written inventory so you get clear on what YOU bring to the table, whether it is a work relationship or friendship. YOU COUNT, and what you say matters.