It feels good to have the stability and intimacy of a well-established relationship. Knowing you’ll come home to comfort, affection and respect that you can count on makes you feel more complete. But comfort isn’t exactly exciting, and men (and women) still crave excitement. So, women, what really stimulates him?
I’m not talking about anything sexual here. Something my wife and I like to do is pretend we are other people. We’ve gone to restaurants acting like undercover police officers, pretended to be from the UK asking about local eateries at a village grocery store, and even in our own city, we stop and ask pedestrians in touristy areas for directions and tips on things to do. It’s so eye-opening and fun. It activates the imagination in a harmless way, and it’s something that’s just between us.
Part of man craves routine; it’s natural. But we have hormones and brain pathways designed specifically to deal with excitement, so sudden and unexpected things are also natural. When planning a surprise, it is important to remember the words of President George Washington: “Shew Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.” In other words – only happy surprises, please.
– Come out of the shower and ask him to dry you off completely – remember, intimacy doesn’t always have to lead to sex … unless you want it to
– Tell him you’d like to host his friends for the big game this weekend
– Spontaneous date night – maybe even to a burger joint so he doesn’t have to get dressed up
Humans are social. We all want to be accepted in mixed company, admired by our peers and wanted by our lovers. Yet, society creates fantasies about what desirability is, and most of us feel like we can’t reach that standard. If you show him that, in your eyes, he is desirable, he’s going to really appreciate that. This doesn’t have to be about sex—it can be about desiring his company over others, his opinions or his talents.
That thing you think I’m talking about is exactly what I’m talking about. You may not love it, but he does. It may just seem like a one-way sex act, but this is more about showing him that you want him, need him and his unique manliness. The key to taking this to the next level is making sure it doesn’t seem staged. If you want him (this should only work in a committed relationship where consent has already been established and ongoing, open conversation takes place), take him. Don’t ask, just take what you want and don’t take no for an answer.
Building sexual tension
Do you like pizza (I do)? If you pause to think about the gooey cheese and the sweet sauce, you start building an appetite for pizza. See an ad with steam rising off a slice fresh from the oven. Walk past a pizzeria and fill yourself with the uniquely complex scent—you will have to actively try not to go in and get some. When it comes time for you to go have pizza, you’re going to go to town on that pizza, big time. ‘Nuff said.
The points here are mostly the opinion of the writer.