When I was a teenager, I had a crush on this girl in school. She was tall, pretty and had flowing blond hair, and people treated her like the school celebrity. One day, I got the courage to ask her if she was enjoying a book we were both reading for literature class. When I walked up, she was mocking some other girl really meanly and using foul language. Her fingernails were dirty and she smelled like an ashtray. The spell was broken and I lost all interest.
The point – when a man is excited about a woman, he notices far more than just her sex appeal.
The first thing that hit me was that she was being so mean to someone else. I was instantly repulsed that such cruelty could come out of this person. Kindness matters. It is a beautiful thing when there is such an abundance of good will in someone that it finds its way out of them – naturally.
How strong is someone’s self-esteem if they feel the need to degrade or pick on others? Not very. Someone with self-esteem can look out for their own best interests – but not at the expense of others.
A bright communicator
Someone who peppers every conversation with loud, foul language doesn’t feel like someone you could bring home to Mom or take out to a nice, quiet restaurant. People shy away from loud and foul-mouthed people because it suggests they aren’t very bright. In contrast, when a woman speaks clearly and shows a confident intelligence, she is an asset to the relationship.
There is a reason we are drawn to the unknown. It stimulates our natural curiosity and excites our senses. A woman who seems to have many layers below the surface activates our imagination. Even if you don’t actually have a lot of layers, withhold when possible and share – not so much hesitantly, but rather, slowly.
Elegance feels like an old word. I asked my mother how she would define it. The elegant woman cares for – but is not obsessed with – her appearance, hygiene and mannerisms. She aims to make people feel welcome and comfortable around her because she is clean, polite and thoughtful.
Sense of humor
Life is a challenge, but having a sense of humor means you can find the bright spot during tough times. A smiling woman captures a sense of fantasy in a man – he imagines her as happy, something which is of great importance to a good man.
The shine of your hair may catch our attention from far away, but the traits that keep us coming go well beyond appearances.