Relationships will always have their ups and downs, but there are a few major signs when yours is hitting a dead end. It’s a sad realization to have, but letting go of relationships that won’t lead you where you want to be is the most responsible thing to do for your happiness and mental health. Here are seven signs you and your partner are not on the same page.
You’re never considered
It’s quite common for couples, especially young ones, to act like two separate entities. A, “they have their life and “I have mine” mentality. But if you’ve been together for a while, and your partner still does not consider you in their major life plans (like moving to a new place) they probably don’t view the relationship as seriously as you do. It may be time for a talk about the possibility of a future together.
They avoid making long-term plans
Living together, marriage and kids are notable hot spots. Perhaps you feel ready to take the relationship to the next level, but your partner isn’t. And that’s OK – some people need more time than others. But if you hear avoidance phrases like, “Why do we have to talk about this now?” or “That’s so far away, we don’t have to worry about that yet,” you either need to give your partner an ultimatum or leave. If your partner can’t see you in their future, and refuses to even talk about it, it’s time to rip-off the Band-Aid.
You don’t want the same things
Obviously every relationship requires compromise, but if your priorities are polar opposites, you are both going to end up unhappy. If your partner is kid-crazy, for instance, but the thought of having kids repels you, the eventual conversation will not be a pleasant one for either of you. If your partner is only looking for a fling, this won’t affect them, but if you are looking to settle down, you should look for someone whose goals align with yours.
Your communication is … off
Do you bottle up your feelings only to explode at a later date? Do you avoid communication for fear of judgement or ridicule? Or do you rarely feel heard, so you’ve decided not to bother altogether? All of these are recipes for hurt feelings. If there’s one thing you should always bother with in a relationship, it’s communication. If you want your relationship to last, you and your partner should be open about everything and anything.
Your partner doesn’t make an effort to integrate you into their family
If your partner never broaches the subject of you hanging out with their family, or has yet to invite you to important holidays, sirens should go off in your head. If your S/O’s family hasn’t met you, or doesn’t even know about you, it’s time to move onto greener pastures. You deserve someone who wants to “show you off.”
You forgive them (when you shouldn’t)
Has your partner habitually broken your trust? Perhaps you’re just a forgiving spirit, or more likely, you are afraid to be alone. But staying with someone who doesn’t respect you or your boundaries is not someone worthy of your affection. Remember, when a relationship is good, your partner will consistently work to keep you around, not take you for granted.
You’ve tried everything, but nothing is changing
If you’ve already tried telling your partner how you feel, and have done your best to improve communication to no avail, it’s time to move on. Your partner needs more time to grow and learn to be more giving in relationships. Healthy relationships are balanced. Never settle for less than mutual respect.