I was raised by a single mother, and her experience with love has been…complicated. Although we’ve always been close and talk about (almost) everything, love was always a bit of an awkward topic. She tried to give me the best advice, but it was often coming from the perspective of having more negative experiences than positive. So, what have I learned that Mama left out of the relationship talks?
Ending a relationship never gets easier
When your first love ends, you feel like the whole world is crumbling beneath you. Everyone tries to comfort you by saying that you’ll survive, just take it one day at a time, there will always be someone else. Eventually, one day, you do feel like your old self again. You think that the next time you break up with someone, it can’t possibly be as painful. Wrong! Every breakup hurts. Some more than others. Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, ending a relationship is never easy.
Your love won’t “fix” them
Sometimes we think that our love alone is so powerful that we could move mountains, stop a wildfire, heal a broken soul. But although love can do incredible things, it can’t fix everything. If your partner is struggling with something – mentally, physically, emotionally, financially – you alone cannot heal them; only they can do that.
You might fall in love with someone you barely know
Relationships take work. You can’t possibly fall in love with someone you’ve only known for a short time…That’s what I thought, before it happened to me. You could be with someone for a few months and love them more than someone you were with for years. Your love becomes stronger with time, yes, but love itself is not measured in time.
Sometimes you fall for the “wrong” person, and that’s okay
We all have ideas of how our perfect partner would be, but perfection doesn’t exist. For example, you’d never have expected that he’s 10 years older than you, she lives on the other side of the country, he recently broke up with his fiancé. We often find ourselves in situations that are less than ideal, but these experiences teach us some of the most important lessons.
You shouldn’t give up because of one mistake
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and we all make mistakes, so you shouldn’t quit as soon as things get tough. When you really love someone, you should fight to keep them around.
You have to know when to walk away
Although you might go through some rough patches and you probably won’t end a relationship because of them, you have to realize when it’s time to let go. If you’ve tried to work things out, but your partner hasn’t changed their actions, the love has faded, or you feel like you have nothing left to give, you might have to move on.
Love is not blind
Everyone has flaws, and your love for another person does not make them impossible to see. However, when you’re in love, you see each other’s faults, accept them, and help make each other stronger despite them.