It happens to everyone. A new “friend” comes along and they seem nice, but you have a gut feeling that something about the situation seems off. Maybe their compliments always seem backhanded. Maybe they isolate you or single you out in groups. Maybe they only want to talk about what’s going on in their life, without taking an interest in yours.
You may be the victim of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing“: someone that appears friendly, with the intent to do harm. Here are four traits to keep in mind when you’re wondering if a person is your friend.
Does this person tend to cancel plans last second, but demand that you see them on a moment’s notice? Do you find yourself picking up the bill or single-handedly planning all of your activities together? Do they make unfulfilled promises?
Does this person have little interest in your day-to-day life? Do they get emotional or aggressive when you need support? Do you feel like you need to “walk on eggshells” around them? Do they speak to you with respect?
Does this person feel threatened by your successes? Do they point out your flaws? Do they undercut your achievements? Do they often compare themself to you? Do they compare you to others in a negative way? Are they unempathetic?
Do you trust this person? Does this person provide equal emotional labor in your relationship? Do you always have to call them first? Does this person often gossip about their other friends?