Life can easily become one drama after another, but we get so used to it that it feels normal. We see the drama in the lives of those “crazy” reality T.V. stars and wonder how they can live that way. The answer is: they live with their drama the same way we live with ours—they get used to it. It’s not that we don’t have any drama in our lives; it’s that we don’t notice it anymore.
Some of us play out the drama in our difficult relationships at home or at work and use up all our peace of mind, and some of us indulge in the drama of neglecting our physical and emotional health. We claim we’re too busy to exercise, meditate or take time for fun. Drama is different for different people. Sometimes it’s subtle and sometimes it’s—well—dramatic.
In many ways, we can be “addicted” to our drama. If you think you just might have some drama in your life and want to end it, here are three suggestions:
Admit there is a problem:
When someone asks us “How are you?” a typical answer is, “Crazy busy.” We brag about putting in 50-70 hours a week and not taking our paid time off. We tell ourselves we can’t do anything about it so we keep doing it. Might there be a little bit of drama to that?
We say we live and work the way we do because we’re responsible adults or because we don’t want to hurt someone—meanwhile we keep hurting ourselves. We have to pay the bills after all, or we have to stay in that relationship just a while longer to help the other person get through the “temporary” crisis they’re in. However, that’s not being responsible or caring, that’s keeping the drama alive.
Own the problem:
When it comes to drama, it’s easy to blame others. It might be your boss, the economy or even fate. Something “out there” needs to change for things to get better. However, if you have too much drama in your life, you are the only one that can do something about it. Blaming others or external factors will only fuel the drama. You have to come face to face with the fact that no one is coming to your rescue. Owning the problem means finding solutions, not beating yourself up for your past decisions or behaviors.
Get a plan:
I’m not suggesting you quit your job or dump your responsibilities today, I’m saying you need to get a plan to live the life you want to live. Your plan might be a two year plan, but it needs to be one you can take some action on today. You might not be able to reduce your work hours immediately or leave an unfulfilling job, but you can make plans to do so
Staying in a job you don’t love is drama—even if you’ve gotten used to it. If you’re in a relationship that has drama, end the drama or end the relationship. You might need some help to do that, so put that in your plan to reinvent your life. If you have drama in your life, it’s your drama, and if you don’t plan a way to end it, you will unintentionally keep it going.