Online dating has become one of the most popular forms of meeting new romantic partners. Especially since the pandemic, dating apps have seen a surge of users. Men go on these not just to look for flings, but serious relationships. So what makes you stand out to them as a potential date? Let’s ask them.
A user asked on AskMen of Reddit, “Men of Reddit, what makes you notice a women’s online dating profile? I’m about to venture into online dating and I want to learn what to do and what not to do.” Here’s what they said.
Originality is the key to standing out.
One user mentioned how putting in the effort to writing their bio instead of a silly phrase you see over and over is VERY important. “If she actually put some effort to writing it and didn’t just use dumb canned lines like, ‘fluent in sarcasm’ or ‘looking for my partner in crime’ or ‘Venmo me $5 and see what happens.'”
Good pictures are a good start…but not what get’s them talking to you.
Share your interests and be specific! One user wrote, “Most guys swipe based on the pictures but proceed post-match based on profiles. Just because the match rate is really low for guys. But if your profile is a ghost town or train wreck it doesn’t really give us anything to start the conversation (and we’re expected to start the conversation so give us something to work with!)…”
Please, please, please fill out a profile.
Many guys spoke about how important it was to just fully complete the profile. “Just complete your profile and you’ll be ahead of 90% of people. If you use actual sentences and don’t use your profile to complain about guys, then you’re in the top 1%,” said one user.
Be specific about who you are.
One user wrote, “‘I’m really down to earth!’ ‘I have a bubbly personality!’ I still don’t know what these are supposed to mean, but from experience, it’s usually said by someone who is not down to earth and not very exciting.” Perhaps include something about your favorite trip, why you chose your career, or what’s important to you in a partner.
Ditch any filtered photos.
“On Tinder, the ‘I’m a simple person who likes to laugh and spending time with people I love” means, I have no personality at all! That and Snapchat filters.”
Another user wrote, “The pictures are the first potential point of failure. So good quality ones that show you in an attractive light and your full body and easily identified, with at least one where you are the only person, are essential.”
Don’t post a lot of photos with friends.
One user wrote a harsh but true statement, “Having your very first picture be a group picture of you and your friends. It’s wonderful that you have friends that you do things with, but if I see a group picture, I’m automatically going to assume that you’re the least attractive one…”
I think most of us have been there too on the other side. It’s frustrating when you start to wonder who it is you’re supposed to be looking at.
Don’t show a list in your profile.
Maybe think twice before saying you need a man who is over 6 feet tall, etc. One user said, “Lists. Just don’t. Nothing makes me ignore a profile faster than a girl that starts listing off baseball-like stats of a guy that she will deem worthy of time. It reeks of vanity.”
Please proofread your profile.
One user wrote, “Use good grammar and punctuation. I know it’s not fair, but whenever I saw a poorly-written profile, I’d think, ‘She’s an idiot. Not worth my time.’ (I also think guys who can’t write are idiots.)”
Try to keep it positive.
Nobody likes a Negative Nancy. One user made it a point to write, “Stay away from the no’s in your profile narrative; the ‘no jerks or players’ sort of thing. When a woman mentions the negative it shows her as someone who’s had the life taken out of her. Also don’t be rude. I know there is a kind of double-standard with regards to this, meaning guys getting called out for being demanding while it can be seen as OK for women who do it. Just try to present the best you that you can through pics and words.”