When a woman is down or feeling blue, it can be tough for men to discern what she really needs—is it space? More time? More affection? Women are, I admit, quite complicated, but our innate desires are not so far-fetched from those of men during our trying times.
For his focused attention
Aside from our own problems, it’s even more deflating to pour out our hearts to him about something we’re struggling with only to discover that he’s just partially invested in the conversation. The TV show or article he’s reading can wait. We may not be able to if he keeps this up.
For him to listen
When we’re distraught, the best thing for him to do, sometimes is to just lend an ear and a shoulder. Even if it’s a problem that may not involve him, it can be cathartic for a woman to have a trusted partner to vent to without hearing any judgments or feedback. He’ll know when she’s willing to open the table for discussion.
Some tough love
Rather than holding back and not saying what’s really on his mind, it’s appreciated when he lets us know when we’ve overstepped a boundary. We respect a man who challenges us to be our best selves, even when we have a hard time admitting we are wrong.
For him to go the distance
If we’re frustrated about something he did or didn’t do, he may assume that the right thing to do is to ‘let us be.’ Usually, it’s the opposite–we want him to show us he still cares and figure out ways to resolve the issue with us. Contrary to popular belief, him sleeping on the couch only leaves us feeling worse and alone with our emotions. And sometimes when we tell him to just leave, what we really want is for him to say, “No, let’s work it out.”
For him to reassure her that “we’ll get through this” and mean it
No matter how tough women may be, we could all use some words of encouragement. But they must come from a genuine place. We’re tired of hearing filler phrases like, “everything’s going to be okay” or “I know how you feel.” While we do admire your efforts in trying to make us feel better, what will really be meaningful is when you tell us that you’ll be right there with us while we fight these battles. It tells us that you won’t give up on us, even when we’re struggling to hold on.
Knowing that we can be ourselves and let our imperfections surface is very reassuring for us, and also for him too.