Whether we’d like to admit it or not, we grow accustomed to those who may not be healthy for us out of fear of change. We almost get ‘comfortable’ with the idea of accepting their behavior and deny the damage they’re causing to our lives. Here’s how to cut ties with harmful people who have nothing beneficial to add to our well-being.
Slowly distance yourself until it becomes inevitable to part
The toxic person knows that you’ll make time for them and will make you feel guilty when you don’t. They may contact you many times until you give in. Don’t fall for the trap. If you have to make excuses, do so. Sooner or later, they’ll take the hint and find someone else to prey on. Occasionally, you might have to cross paths, put your foot down. Make your limits crystal clear and try your best not to tiptoe over or bend for them. Toxic people know your weak spots and will ultimately fold when they realize you won’t play their games anymore.
Keep yourself accountable
Even after you’ve separated from the toxic person, the pull of the past may remain. Don’t give into it, and don’t make excuses for them. The moment you’re tempted to forgive or excuse the behavior of this liar/manipulator/cheater, listen to your conscience. You can practice different ways of remembering their hurtful behavior—such as a rubber band on your wrist or calling a trusted friend who will help talk you out of your impulse to pardon them.
Nurture and build upon the relationships that truly matter
Turn your focus on the positive people in your life. Have you spent enough time with them lately? If not, rekindle and cherish these important connections. Eventually, the love you surround yourself with will overpower the need you feel to have this person in your life.
Invest in your future self
Although we know the importance of focusing on the ‘here and now,’ think about what your life will look like when you’ve finally moved on without them. Not only will you regain your power, you’ll be more optimistic about what lies ahead.