In recent times, we are much less likely to be out and about meeting prospective relationship partners. Many of us stayed at home during quarantine and even now are keeping distance between ourselves and the people we may be passing on the streets. This has caused a surge in online dating to meet new people. But how do we know if the relationship is worth pursuing in person or destined to be doomed from the start? Here are the red flags and the green lights to look out for:
Red Flags:
- They won’t video chat, but want to meet in person.
If they want to meet after just a few days of chatting it’s best to tread lightly. It is smart to talk for a little bit to know you feel safe meeting this person. It is also a major red flag if someone isn’t willing to video chat and verify they are who they say are before meeting up. - You notice you are repeating past relationship mistakes or feel insecure.
If they are giving you déjà vu about an ex that you had a bad experience with, don’t be naive. It’s normal to have butterflies and wonder if they will like you, but if they are making you feel more insecure than normal it’s not a good sign. If you are not feeling comfortable being 100% authentic with them, they probably aren’t the right match for you. - They’ve already shown you a controlling side of them.
If you are getting bombarded with passive-aggressive questions about what you did that day or who you saw, don’t continue the relationship. If they reveal these traits to you in the beginning, they will most likely only get worse if the relationship progresses in person. - You’ve had arguments and don’t see eye-to-eye on important values.
When you first start talking to someone who is attractive and you like certain things about them, it can be easy to overlook disagreements or “red flags”. These end up being the bigger issues down the road that cause relationships to end. If you have a feeling it’s not going to work, listen to your intuition. - They seem more interested in getting busy than getting to know you.
Be wary of what your conversations consist of, the times of day they reach out to talk, and how pushy they are towards meeting in person. A person looking to pursue something serious will want to get to know more before asking you out. A person looking to get you in bed will not ask you about yourself or your day and might jump into overly flirty messages that are borderline inappropriate.
Green Lights:
- Good conversations are flowing and you can’t stop chatting.
It is a great sign if you are never short of a new conversation topic. If you find that you hit it off and can’t stop talking, it might be time to take things to the next level and meet. - You are laughing and smiling more than usual.
Laughter in a relationship is important and if you already have a sense of each other’s humor through your online experience, you will probably have one hell-of-a-date together. - You don’t feel judged.
If you have been able to open up and have deep conversations with no fear of being judged, that is a sign there is some real substance there. Being open and honest are two fundamental building blocks for a successful relationship. - You don’t have to over-analyze the conversations.
You never need to question their intentions or ask your friends to help decode their messages. Instead, it feels right and you both just get each other. If this is the case, it could have a great chance of success. - They remember the little things.
If they recall things in your conversations that you barely remember saying, then they are a keeper. “How did that appointment go the other day?” or “Let’s get tacos on our first date,” because you said they are your favorite are green lights that this person is truly interested in you and worth a shot.
**Disclaimer: This article is the opinion of the author. Please take the necessary precautions while pursuing online dates during the current health crisis. It is advised to have open conversations about your state of health, where you’ve been in the past two weeks, and if you’ve been practicing the proper safety measures before meeting in person.
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