Perhaps you are employed.
The typical nine-hour shift can be financially rewarding and increase levels of self-worth. However, the distress from guilt never fails to hover.
Because of your career, your children are registered for an after-school program, and often complain about their unwanted, prolonged day on waiting for your arrival. Aware of their appetite, you plan meals in advance that require little preparation once you and your children return home.
“Mom, I don’t want this for dinner” cries your youngest one.
“Why can’t you leave work early and pick us up from school?” asks the oldest. Instantaneously, you tend to forget your efforts to accommodate your children and self. The pang of worthlessness strikes again and you feel like an incapable mother.
Although that is a natural response to your child’s desires, you must not diminish the determination within to provide the best for your family. Your intentions are pure at heart. Beneath your restless child’s face, they can sense that as well. This is a friendly reminder that it is not about the amount of time spent with your children, but the worthwhile moments created with them that they will cherish throughout their years.
Perhaps you chose to end your career to raise your children.
The term “stay-at-home mom” underestimates the responsibilities and importance of your updated job title. The familiar, repetitive questioning of, “What do you do for work?” can grow to be insulting.
Raising a child into a respectable individual consists of numerous tasks, many which are independent and self-taught. Transitioning through the roles of a friend, mentor, and parent is a self-fulfilling experience. As mothers, it is difficult to observe and recognize all that has been accomplished. We persuade ourselves we could have “done better” – advice we wish we offered, opinions we were hesitant to share, special moments we could have made greater.
Not only is this self-inflicting, negative thinking unhealthy, but it is simply untrue. Motherhood is a role bestowed upon us and cannot be deemed unimportant or mediocre.
Perhaps you are a single mother.
Attaining the role of a mother is difficult as is. Imagine fulfilling that part with no support from a partner. How is a mother supposed to nurture her child if she must work? Will the child grow distant from the mother if a caretaker assists the process? It appears impossible, but there are women who succeed in fulfilling such a role. Limited time is spent with their child, while some are lucky to even whisper “Goodnight” before parting ways again.
Living conditions may not appear ideal, but a roof always remains above the child’s head. And if such a situation requires public assistance, the mother will seek such help, regardless of the shame that may linger for an extensive period of time. Due to these common motherhood experiences, one must become aware of her self-worth.
You are a wonder woman. You are genuinely enough.