Your manager promised she’d get back to you about your promotion, but its been months and you haven’t heard anything…
It’s been several weeks since you’ve gotten a call from the hiring manager for the job interview you thought you aced…
Your significant other keeps saying that you’ll talk about whether to bring your relationship to the level of marriage, but it never seems like a good time to discuss it…
You are single and a great catch, but you’ve ‘kissed too many frogs’ without meeting the right person…
If the waiting game has been going on for too long, you might start to get IMPATIENT!
Here are 4 ways to handle impatience when things are not happening FAST enough for you!
1) Focus on what you can control – Your attention always goes immediately to the aspects of a situation you CAN’T control. This is a normal part of our survival response – to check the environment for things that might cause us harm. But focusing on matters that are beyond your control actually cause a stress response, which aggravates impatience.
Instead, ask yourself “What CAN I control in this situation?” That’s where your power is. For example, you want to make sure that you’re sending a clear signal, that you’ve connected with the right decision-maker, and that you’ve followed up, in terms of “What’s In It for Them”. You want to make sure that you’ve invited anyone who has influence over the situation to play their part.
2) Evaluate signs of progress
There are milestones along the way to the final outcome you want. Look for signs that there is progress toward the ultimate resolution. Is your partner starting to talk about a vacation together next year or a life together (even if it isn’t named yet as ‘marriage’?) Is your boss introducing you to senior decision-makers who might have high visibility projects even if the next promotion cycle isn’t for 3 months? These are good signs that there is some progress toward the outcome you want, even if it’s not there yet. The absence of any of these interim markers is also ‘a sign’ that there isn’t any movement, information that should make you start to question whether you want to stay in the situation with no further progress.
3) Distract yourself
Keep yourself in a ‘good vibe’ even while you are waiting. Try keeping yourself busy with healthy habits such as exercise or reading a blog that helps you grow or a poem that makes you smile. Continue to be involved with volunteer opportunities that make you feel a sense of purpose. And then there’s always a great dance break during the day or night!
4) Trust and Allow
As Steve Job’s famously said, “you can only connect the dots going backward”. Sometimes we don’t why events unfold the way they do. It can help to think of your life unfolding on “God’s” time (i.e., forces that are greater than each individual human). If you can find a way to have a bigger picture perspective, that can help. For example, my friend wanted to adopt a baby for a long time. It took more time than she wanted for an adoption opportunity to come through, and then at the last minute, it fell through (and that happened twice). At the time she was deeply disappointed and a little depressed. Once her adoption did go through (a year later) she told me that she felt SO much more ready and was SO glad she had the extra time to prepare. Many people have stories where they were impatient for the right person to come along and wanted to ‘settle’, but then when they finally met ‘the One’ they felt they had done the necessary growth and felt that it had occurred in perfect timing. From our limited perspective, sometimes we don’t know ‘the reasons’ why things happen on the timeline they do, but trust and allow they are happening for the highest good of all.
The points here are the opinion of the writer.