There are many ways to learn about your partner’s personality besides just having a conversation. Pay attention to subtle signals–actions speak louder than words. For example, how he treats those around him speaks volumes about his character. Here are some common interactions to look out for:
With his family
Is he close with his siblings? Does he hug his parents when he sees them? Time with his family is a great opportunity to peek into the window of his world. This is why it’s important to get to know your partner’s family. If he treats his parents with love and respect, this could be a positive sign. If he’s always complaining about his sisters or gets in fights with his mom a lot, that could be a warning. However, these are not predictable truths, they’re just little signals that could lead to other discoveries about him.
When there’s a crisis
Whether you’re the one needing his support or he’s the one in need, pay close attention to his actions. When you need him, does he come around? When he’s the one in trouble, does he seek your help or does he isolate himself? Or when his best friend is going through a tough time, how does he react? Each person handles stressful situations differently, so this is a great indicator of his true personality.
When he’s speaking to a waiter
In a situation where someone is serving the two of you, keep your eyes open, watch if he is considerate or not. If he treats that person with disrespect or contempt, he may not be the person you wish to be around. Also, if he’s sarcastic and ostentatious, you can probably tell he’s trying to impress the people around him. You want someone who treats people well and with respect, not someone who is over-the-top.
When his patience is tested
It’s tough to be patient, and many people aren’t very good at it. How does he behave when things don’t go his way–whether it’s a long line to get into a restaurant or sitting in rush hour traffic, how does he respond.
With your family and friends
How he treats your loved ones probably matters most to you. You’d like him to be kind and genuine. However, that isn’t always the case. If he acts like a totally opposite around the people you care about, that’s a sign you should pay attention to. If you see he builds a relationship with your brother or asks about your mom every so often, that’s a good sign.