Why is real love so elusive for many of us? Perhaps, we are still listening to messages from our past that tell us, it won’t happen or that we are unworthy of true happiness. Deep down in our hearts, we know that isn’t true.
So how do we find real love with a partner, try this step by step approach.
1. Look in the mirror. Stand in front of a mirror and stare into your eyes. This may feel uncomfortable but just do it. If you do, you probably will go deep. What is your real hunger–don’t you want to love yourself more and experience loving another person deeply?
2. Distinguish between messages from your “head” and from your “heart.” As you begin to take actions to get what you truly want–going out to events, participating in activities you enjoy (where you may meet that special someone), your “head talk” may get louder and louder, telling you that true love isn’t possible for you.
Ignore those lies and tune into your heart instead. Your heart is signaling that you should keep going.
3. Surround yourself with friends that care. Don’t go it alone. Make sure to “book-end” activities that take you out of your comfort zone. When you are scared to get going, call your buddy. After you come back and share your elation or disappointment, let them know too.
4. Expect to feel terrified. If you haven’t experienced real love with a partner, you will definitely be out of your comfort zone. And if you feel terrified, you are not doing anything wrong, in fact, you are doing everything right. Face your fears and go forward anyway.
Best of luck!