Relationships can be difficult–whether it is dealing with a significant other, child, co-worker or friend–the potential to share the “best of times,” and “the worst of times” is there. When things turn sour, or you suffer a loss, or tragedy strikes–it is difficult to deal with the emotional pain that surfaces. Here are some tips that may prove helpful.
1. Acceptance is key. Don’t deny the pain; that will create all sorts of problems. If you try to push it down, it will pop up at a time you’d least expect it to. Accept that you will be hurting for a while, that way, you can prepare yourself by prioritizing tasks and taking on only responsibilities that you have to.
2. Acknowledge your courage. When we are engulfed by pain, facing it can feel very lonely. It’s hard to think about anyone else’s problems when you are in the throws of it. Sometimes it helps to realize that everyone has their own form of challenges and you are not unique. Other people seem to get through it, and you will too.
3. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. It will not hurt as much all the time. When the wound is new that hurts the most. In time, it won’t hurt quite as much. For example, when one is grieving a loss, after a certain point, there are waves of grief. It is not one way all the time.
4. Put yourself in “intensive self-care.” We take care of everyone else, and put ourselves last on the list too often. When you are in emotional pain, treat the “little girl” in you the way you would treat your own daughter. Be extra good to her. Don’t be too demanding. Hear how she is really feeling.
5. Dig into your spirituality. Go deep, you need a sense of something greater than the pain. You need to walk with faith and remember that it will not always feel as bad as it does.