We men tend to wear a brave face, but you’d be surprised by the similarities between the sexes when it comes to insecurities in relationships.
Body image issues
I don’t know very many people who are completely fine with how they look. My legs are too this, my middle is too that, whatever the case may be. Everyone feels this way as well to one degree or another. It’s a shame really because the body is just the vessel for what’s really important, but hey, that’s society for you.
Yes, we know, Captain Picard from Star Trek is sexy, but we have hair issues. When a man’s hair relocates to a new neighborhood (usually our shoulders and back) we think it makes us old and less manly. A guy can handle it poorly or (maybe even with a little encouragement from you) we can go the full Elmer Fudd and be proud.
So OK, relationships at some point are going to get physical. Men feel a lot of pressure to be good at … you know … stuff. If a partner has opened up with a guy enough to get this far, a man does not want to disappoint. Our male identity is really wrapped up in sexual prowess. So if he seems cocky, he’s probably quietly praying.
Am I good enough?
Men worry that they are not giving their woman what they deserve. Many men fail to realize that if a woman has chosen to be with him, she did so for a reason. Most men don’t realize how well their women know them, so they think they might be falling short in many departments.
On the one hand, it might make your man work harder to make you happy and that’s good, right? On the other hand, if he feels like a failure or that he’s unable to make you happy, that’s soul-crushing.
He’s afraid of being alone
You’re his bae, his boo, his sweetie pie. He doesn’t want to lose you. Not just because you’re awesome (and you are), but because he doesn’t want to go to bed alone, watch movies by himself, and have nobody to check in with. The world can be a lonely place for us all sometimes, and men are no exception.
Your male friends
Unless your best male friend is super gay, we worry. It comes back to being unsure we’re good enough for you. The thought of a man, any man, making you happy when we can’t is the kind of thing that can keep us up at night.
At this point, you might be thinking, “Hey, guys have very similar insecurities to women”, and yeah you’d be right. Men may be from Mars and women may be from Venus, but they’re both planets.
You have more money than he does
Money can’t buy love, but it is connected to a man’s sense of providing for the people he cares about. If you make more money than him he probably thinks about that at least once a day. Men have been on the top of the pile for so long, it’s going to take us a while to adjust to getting knocked off.
Men have more layers than they might seem to have at first glance. Maybe it makes you feel better knowing that he stresses about being good enough for you. Together you can work on those insecurities, yours and his.
The points in the article are mainly the opinion of the writer.