In the words of John Mayer, “When you’re dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part.” There is no way to sugarcoat a heartbreak – it hurts to breathe at times, you feel unmotivated to do anything and despite your genuine efforts to crack a smile, your mind retreats back to the emptiness inside of you. I wish I could tell you that it’s easy to move on, but it’s not – it will take some time, patience and acceptance.
Dwell in the pain
You read that right. Convincing yourself that you’re ready to move on won’t do you or your broken heart any favors. By sitting in your sadness for the time being and allowing your mind to process your emotions, you’re accepting your current situation—no matter how weak and vulnerable you currently feel (that’s strong!) So let out a good cry, eat a lot of ice cream, and get it out of your system. But tomorrow, take a walk, read a book, or attempt something small to at least try to pull yourself together.
Create a “dopamine” playlist
Put together a playlist/mix of your favorite feel-good jams (ones that won’t trigger any old memories). Tune into it every time you find your mind wandering back to a painful time and refrain from listening to depressing, sad love songs. Take advantage of music’s healing properties; while it won’t put your broken pieces back together, your brain chemicals will thank you for the nice change of pace.
Spend the night with your girlfriends
You can always count on your best gal pals to make you laugh and forget about your heartache, even if only temporarily. Let them treat you to a girls’ night out – go dancing, have dinner together or watch a funny movie with them. You’ll be glad you got out of the house and will feel grateful to have a solid support system.
Get rid of the tangible memories
Do a full sweep of your place and trash everything that reminds you of your ex–the photos, the gifts, his clothes, etc. If there are certain things you can’t bear to throw away, try to find a new way to decorate them or repurpose them. While you’re at it, delete his texts, his phone number from your phone (so you won’t be tempted to call) and the photos on there as well. It’s time to create new moments and let go of the ones you’re hoarding in your brain.
Do something good for yourself
Whether it’s making a healthy lifestyle change, switching up your hairstyle or treating yourself to the spa, now is the most important time to take care of your well-being. Not only will you feel good about yourself, you’ll also get back in touch with the woman you were pre-relationship, and will feel more hopeful to find the new woman you’re becoming.